Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize