Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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