going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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