I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
