just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
