When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
