we made out on top of his cat.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
