i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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