help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
