I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
