I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
