Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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