That's intense
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
