my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
