So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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