I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
