so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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