I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
