Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
