yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
