Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
