Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
