If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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