Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my liver is dry heaving
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
