is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
