I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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