There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize