Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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