i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
