HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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