some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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