Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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