Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
