Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
