I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
This toilet bowl is my home.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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