then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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