forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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