you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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