At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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