its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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