Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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