The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
