yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Duck Duck Cougar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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