We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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