would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
