Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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