Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
