I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
