Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
