I love black thongs
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
