Plan B is the new Plan A
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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