i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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