I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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