life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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