You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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