I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
