i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
