Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
