Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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