You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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