Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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