I want to have your abortion
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
