I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize