The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
